2012 is bound to bring big things. Things like the Facebook IPO. The Dark Knight sequel and two Snow White movies. The iPad 3. The Summer Olympics. The impending apocalypse.
But hey, 2011 was a pretty big year too– we saw the launch of the Amazon Kindle Fire, Google+, and Facebook Timeline. We saw our fair share of political gaffes (Herman Cain, Herman Cain, Herman Cain) and videos (Save a pretzel for the gas jets!). We witnessed dozens of Occupy protests, from the 99% movement at Occupy Wall Street to the Occupy NBC campaign to save the TV show Community. And we planked. Oh, how we planked.
It’s time to bid the year a fond adieu– and pray that certain things from 2011 will stay in 2011. Here are our picks for the top seven things that should be officially banished from 2012.
1.) Charlie Sheen Jokes
He’s winning. We get it. Now let’s leave #tigerblood where it belongs: in the depths of 2011.
We all know the power of writing catchy headlines, and one of the easiest ways to grab a public’s attention is by seizing on the Next Big Thing– the latest meme, the newest political misstep, the hottest news story.
Unfortunately, writers often fail to grab onto the Next Big Thing and instead latch on to the Thing We’re Already Sick Of. Stop beating the dead horse, folks. It’s turning your readers off.
Also? See “Charlie Sheen”, insert:
- Rebecca Black. We’re over it.
- Justin Bieber. STOP ENCOURAGING HIM.
- Snooki. The Bumpit Jersey tanning train has passed us by.
- Lindsay Lohan. She’s completed the teen star cycle, from innocent Disney star to underfed jailbird. Next.
- Kim Kardashian. Okay, fine. The wedding/divorce is still a little funny. You’ve got 30 more days to make your jokes, and then we’re retiring that one to the 2011 graveyard.
2.) Titles That End With “Like a Rock Star”
Blog like a rock star! Tweet like a rock star! Treat sewage like a rock star!
Um, writers? We don’t want to blog like a rock star. Rock stars don’t really blog. They have plenty of wardrobe malfunctions and drunken escapades, sure, but we somehow doubt they’ve got a lot to share about content marketing. We’d rather blog like an indie darling or an unsigned YouTube sensation, thanks.
“Like a Rock Star” is no longer a catchy headline. Let’s bury it with all the other Internet clichés and move on.
3.) Ninja Headlines
7 Ways to be a Headline Writing Ninja! Be an SEO Ninja! How to Become a Social Bookmarking Ninja!
Okay, first of all, if you know how to do anything like a ninja, you’re not going to be telling the world. You’re a ninja. They call you a silent assassin for a reason.
Secondly, the key to getting readers to click your headlines is to write an original headline. We’ve seen enough ninja-themed posts to know that any ninja-related headline will just be another informational guide with an embedded picture of a ninja.
4. The Separation of SEO and Social
Social? I don’t do social. I’m a search guy. We’ve got an intern that does the Twitter and the Facebook.
Search and social are the new peanut butter and jelly. With +1 buttons, Bing Social, and Google+ invading search results, social is becoming tied into every aspect of search. Traditional SEO is still incredibly important, but social can no longer be kept isolated from the SEO team.
And for Pete’s sake, stop calling it “the Facebook.”
5. Predicting the Death of Google+
Google+ is dying.
Google+ is dead. No, G+ is just sleeping. Facebook is behind the G+ death rumors and it’s a Zuckerberg conspiracy.
Google+ pulled a Romeo and Juliet and faked its own death to fool us all.
The Mayans predicted the death of G+ in 2012.
We’ve read so many G+ obituaries in the past few months that we’ve become numb. Your readers are sick of hearing that the Google+ sky is falling. Let the rumor mill rest until we’ve got more data, okay?
6.) Follow Me on These 18 Social Networks!
Follow all of my blogs! Subscribe to my videos! Friend me on these six obscure social networks!
Look, we’ve got a lot of social media on our plate. Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Delicious, StumbleUpon, Digg, Reddit, Foursquare, Gowalla, Tumblr, YouTube, Pinterest…
We’re quickly approaching social media saturation. There are only so many hours in the day and if we joined every single social network, there’d be no free second left in the day. Pick and choose your social media presences and cut the rest.
7.) Fluff Content
8 Things About Blogging You Already Knew! 43 Facts You’ve Heard Three Times Before!
Okay, so this one’s wishful thinking. If we keep demanding writers to churn out quick content, there’s going to be fluff on the Internet. But here’s our earnest hope for this year: no more fluff. No more dead weight in the blogosphere. Give us things we haven’t seen before. Wow us. Shock us. Thrill us. Make us laugh. Heck, make us cry. Just cut the fluff.
If you don’t have anything original to say, stay silent in 2012. We hear the ninjas are recruiting.
Sound Off: What Do You Want to See Die in 2012?
Okay, readers: we’ve named our 7 picks, now it’s your turn. Disagree with any items on our list? Wanna make your own list? Leave your picks for the most overdone trends of 2011 in the comments!
Nicki Porter is a working writer, fledgling foodie, and admitted alliteration addict who is really sick of Charlie Sheen jokes. Follow her on the Twitter! While you’re at it, come hang out with CopyPress on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr!